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dream away...
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE >Name: sandra >Birth date: nov. 10, 1986 >Birth place: philippines >Current Location: ayala alabang >Eye Color: dark brown >Hair Color: dark brown >Righty or Lefty: righty >Zodiac Sign: scorpio LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE >Your heritage: filipino/spanish >Shoes you wear today: flip flops >3 things i did today: wake up, text, go online. >Your fears: i better keep that to myself... >Your perfect pizza: pepperoni wit lots of mozzarella cheese!!! LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW >Your most overused phrase on YM: hi! miss you! mwah! >Your thoughts first waking up: God Ü >Your best physical feature: errmm.. i like my hair. >Your bedtime: i go to bed at 10 pm (!) but i end up sleeping at 1 am.. >Your most missed memory: high school days... LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK >Pepsi or Coke: either. it's like they tast the same. haha! >McDonald's or Burger King: both. >Single or group dates: single >Adidas or Nike: either >Lipton Tea or Nestea: nestea >Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate!!! >cappuccino or coffee: both LAYER FIVE: DO YOU? >Smoke: nope. never have, never will. >Take showers: i don't... haha! kidding. ofcourse i do!!! >Have a crush(es): other than my boyfriend? none.. > think you've been in love: i am. >Like(d) high school?: i loved it. >Want to get married: YES >Get motion sickness: err.. >Think you're a health freak: not really. >Get along with your parents: yes. >Like thunderstorms: no. it scares me. >Play an instrument: piano.. LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH >Drank alcohol: no.. well i miss our drinking sessions. but since i haven't been drinking for suuuch a long time now, i know i'm allergic. >Gone on a date: no.. >Gone to the mall: yes. >been on stage: uh-huh >Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nah >Eaten sushi: omg i love sushi! >Gone skating: no. >Had a tan: no >Dyed your hair: no LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER >Been trashed or extremely toxicated?: harhar yeah. >Changed who you were to fit in: id never dream of doing that LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER >Age you hope to be married: late 20's >Children: i want 3.Ü >Describe your dream wedding: secret. people might copy my idea. >How do you want to diE: i wanna die a natural death.. or be hit by a bmw. haha >What do you want to be when you grow up: a fashion mag editor.. or anything that has to do with the media. LAYER NINE: IN A GUY >best eye color: dark brown >best hair color: dark brown >Short or long hair: short? just right. >Height: taller than me. >Best first date location: depends on the guy i guess. >Articles of clothing: nothing trashy. LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS > Number of bags i own: infinity. >Number of CD's i own: infinity. >Number of piercings: 4. >Number of tattoo: 0 >Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper: i don't remember.. >Number of things in my past that I regret: i don't know..
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March 24, 2005
hurt.
Posted at 02:25 PM

he told me cool off muna kami... i can't do anything now.. i'm falling apart.. it's hard not to think of him.. coz i've been missing him so much... 2 weeks na kaming di nagkikita.. and now he just refuses to see me... ang hirap talaga.... but i know pain is a part of life... i'll just have to accept it... haaayy.... every night i cry.... kse he just suddenly turned so cold towards me... like i didn't matter to him anymore... i wanna understand him, but he's not giving me any reasons for his actions... crap talaga.... i just wanna thank my big bros for being there for me... and debbie.. and stella.. i love you all... kung wala kayo siguro nagpakamatay na ko sa sakit... i love u...

How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
Make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me
So I can understand
If you love me
How could you hurt this heart of mine

How could the one I gave my world to
Throw my world away
How could the one who said "I love you"
Say the things you say
How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies
How could the one I gave my heart to
Break this heart of mine
Tell me...

How could you be so cold to me
When I gave you everything
All my love
All I had inside
How could you just walk out the door
How could you not love me anymore
I thought we had forever
I can't understand

How could the one I shared my dreams with
Take my dreams from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
Bring such misery
Won't somebody tell me
Somebody tell me please
If you love me
How could you do that to me
Tell me...



March 21, 2005
this is my life.
Posted at 03:05 PM

Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes,
This is your life
And today is all you've got now
And today is all you've ever had
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything that you dreamed
that it would be when the world was younger,
and you had everything to lose?

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?

that song was by switchfoot. Here's my answer to that song:

 

i've been living for 18 years now. i can't say that all the days i've lived through have been happy and pleasant. NO. it's not true. i'd be lying to you if i told you i'm entirely happy.

so what's it like whenever i wake up in the morning? doubts. fears. pain. and hurt have been rushing to my brain everytime i open my eyes. It's no longer the warm feeling i have.. like whenever i write down poetry and i feel so relieved afterwards.. It's just not the same anymore.  primarily, life has taken its toll on me.  i feel so cold and sad whenever i lay in bed... thinking life would always be like this.. but then i know i just have to do something to turn things around.

what about my days? they're blunt and dry. Nothing escapes the world of sadness. every part of me is melancholic. haayyy... only a message from my friends brighten up a dark afternoon..............

so. am i who i want to be? the answer is.... NOT YET. I have yet to prove myself worthy of a happy life.. i know i've done wrong. i've done so many mistakes in my life. i guess i deserve what i'm going through right now... it's just a matter of patience and time. i'll be who i wanna be.. as long as i feel that someone loves me...



March 19, 2005
kill me.
Posted at 08:59 AM

1.what kind of first impression do you think
people say when they first see you?
♥ mataray!

2. what's one thing you like to do alone?
♥ think of myself.. how i'm doing.. then cry..


3. what is your favorite line to say when your
drunk?
♥ i don't have just one line. masyadong marami akong sinasabi i guess.

5. how many drinks before you're tipsy?
♥ tequila: 4 shots lang!!!

6. do you ever have to beg?

♥ sometimes...

7. what kind of books do you like to read?
♥ fiction.

8. do you think you're cute?
♥ well... not really.

9. do you have a problem changing clothes in
front of your friends?
♥ some.

10. favorite communication method?
♥ landline.. but naputulan kami sa cityland.. so text nalang.

11. do you care?
♥ i sure do.

12. what do you eat when you raid the fridge
at night?
♥ chocolates!!!

13. describe your bed?
♥ warm, soft, comfy and cute..Ü

14. song you are listening right now
♥ "i don't wanna be" by gavin degraw

15. favorite line from a song
♥ "just me and you, we don't need nobody else.."


16. spontaneous or planned?

♥ a little bit of both.

17. do you know how to play poker?

♥ a little..

18. what do you carry with you at all times?
♥ my cellphone!!!and of course, my wallet.


19. what do you miss most about being little?
♥ not knowing what it's like to be hurt by the one you love..

20. are you happy with your given name?
♥ u-huh

21. how much would it take to give up the
internet for 1 year?

♥ someone else's life!

22. what color is your bedroom?

♥ peach

23. have you ever been in a play?
♥ yeah! hark hark! i was little eponene in les miserables!

24. do you like yourself and believe in
yourself?

♥ yes. but sometimes i doubt my abilities.. sad to say..

25. do homeless, or starving people
sometimes annoy you?

♥ doesn't everyone?

26. do you consider yourself to be a nice
person?

♥ YES

27. do you spend more time with your
girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?

♥ you mean out on gimmicks? boyfriend...


28. what's one thing you wish you could do
but can't?

♥ have a babyÜ

29. what is your ideal marriage location?

♥ a Church by the beach.. meron bang ganon?


30. whats one instrument you wish you could
play?

♥ violin.

31. something you like and hate?
♥ chocolate. once you get more than you're supposed to have, you get fat.

32. whats one language you want to learn?
♥ french

33. what do you order at a bar?
♥ last time, beer. but i wanna order tequila. or a lady's drink will do.

34. have you ever pierced your body parts?

♥ i have 4 piercings.. but i didn't pierce them myself!


35. do you have any tattoos?
♥ wish i had one..

36. would you admit to getting plastic surgery
if confronted?
♥ no way. i'm blessed with what i have.

37. whats one trait you hate in a person?

♥ plasticality. wahaha what a word!!


38. do you consider yourself materialistic?
♥ neva

39. what do you cook best?
♥ tuna omellette.


40. do you cry in front of your friends?
♥ yes....



March 17, 2005
whoosh
Posted at 10:28 AM

yesterday when i got home, no food was prepared fer meehh... so guess what i did? i cooked my own food! yes u-huh i did! wahaha but i just cooked tuna omelette.. so it was an easy thing. but still! i managed to crack an egg open without spilling the yolk! haha!

also, yesterday in genpsych class, we had a surprise quiz! omg! the quiz was about our reading assignment.. but i didn't read! i was too busy with my thesis that i forgot my lovable psychology subject.. i failed the test. teehee. mr. yonzon was like "the brightest student faltered this time." waaaahh i was so embarassed.. wahahaha!! anyway, for our discussion, he asked one of my classmates where the statue of liberty was created. she answered "New York." then he told her to repeatedly say "York" for as many times as she could. so she was like "york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york york " then my prof asked "what do u call the white part of the egg?" she proudly answered "yolk." WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! it's called the egg white, right??? hahaha!! i was playing along in my mind and i said the same thing! hahahaha!!! that certainly woke up a sleepy morning..

on my way to school this morning, when i rode the second jeep, i sat beside this lunatic!! f*ck i was so scared! he would like laugh at the weirdest moments and he'd say "hala!" out of nowhere! shit that was scary! i wanted to get down and just walk to school.. this was the third time i rode a jeepney with a crazy person. the first one was a girl and she was seated at the end. She would look outside and yell "bahala ka sa buhay mo! la kong paki sayo!!" and she would laugh suddenly. Well that was still quite tolerable, for she was accompanied by a man. probably her father or somethin. the second one was a girl again, and she looked like a negrita. when i entered the jeepney, she looked at me and smiled, as though there was something funny about me. i was thinking what's wrong? is there something on my hair? i was checking if the other people were also staring at me, but nothing was suspicious about their look. when another man/girl rode the jeepney, the negrita looked at them and smiled again. i'm telling you, she's crazy man!! haay. the jeepney came from divisoria, so i guess i shouldn't be surprised about the passengers.

so there. just some of the things that have been happening in my life.. about my lovelife... well.. i don't wanna talk about it. it's my secret.



March 16, 2005
summertime.
Posted at 03:03 PM

it's extremely hot here in school!!! im so sick of the heat.. but.. i'll surely miss it.. *sniff* summer is the funnest time of the year.. (actually, next to Christmas). u get to wear cutie slippers going to school, wear your mini skirts (but not too short or it's the discipline's office fer ye!) wahahahabut oh well. what can we do when it's super hot???

kanina during my long 6-hr break, i did nothing but surf the net. chat with friends. kill time. haay. nothing much to do. really boring.. shet im talking nonesense here.. again... can't say anything right... or wrong.. (what the-??) wahahaha.. i went shopping yesterday... bought a tiny box to put in the.. ahem... pre knows what it is... surprise nalang... la kong pic eh.. well anyways.. mainit parin.. kahit aircon na dito.. haay.. what a life...



March 15, 2005

Posted at 10:56 AM

my day started miserably. i was too damn tired to get up this morning. i was supposed to go to the salon (sa-lon! go stella! wahaha!!) but i felt too lazy to hurry up before classes would start. haay. and it's so humid!! and yes, i was also supposed to go to makati med to have a check up.. but then i realized i'd be late for school coz i still have to submit this ASA paper thingy for chem lab. ay nako it's tuesday palang.... sobrang hinihintay ko na mag apr 15.. kse bakasyon ko na nun..

weird nung friend ko... actually i just arrived here sa school.. pag dating ko sa lobby sabi niya "you look so different today.." tas sabi ko "different? anong klaseng different? as in ugly different? or pretty different?" wahahaha shet ang kapal ko!! then di sya nagcomment.. halata nyang kapal ng mukha ko. wahahahaha!! tas sabi nalang niya blooming daw ako! wha-?? haha!! sabi ko nalang ganito lang talaga itsura ko pag bagong ligo. bwahahaha!!!! and how would i be blooming when im so stressed out......... daming probs.. haay.. kung alam nyo lang....

ok wanna know how im doing sa school? guess whatta. i'm the second highest sa CALCULUS  quiz(take note. calculus!!) ni ms. anita ong!!! wooppeeee!!! haha! ano ma'am?? kayang kaya ko test nyo!!!!! wahahaha!! eh kase naman noh, i only got like 49% sa last test namin.. hahaha!!! ssshhhhhh shut up secret ko lang yun..

basta yun. onga pala di pa tapos hs list ko... basta when i have more time kase napakwento ako eh.. 11:20 pa naman class ko.. til here muna.



March 12, 2005
ouchies..
Posted at 11:31 PM

my back hurts.... i'll have a little check up on either tuesday or thursday...


March 12, 2005
free internet. yahoo!!
Posted at 03:35 PM

wehehe i got to use my free lasalle act just now.. do ya know what this means??? i could go online for hours without my mom knowing!! bwahahaha!! well yes.. til she picks up the phone.. wahahaha. anyway, it's a saturday.. thank God i didn't go to Tondo. it's really nasty there, i dont think i'll ever go back there.. i mean, yeah i like helping the children and all, but it's the environment that i just can't stand!! @#$@% &%^!! hahaha!!

aaanyway. how many more days til summer vacation? i don't think i'll be having one.. since last day of classes in lasalle is like april 15. holy crap im gonna decompose (mabubulok? wahahaha!!) in goks building. haay.

wanna know somethin funny? my crazy blockmates loathe this guy (let's call him scholar.) so what they did was that they pasted his face on the body of hermione! haha it was so freakin funny!! and you know what else? they placed it as a wallpaper in one of the pc's of lasalle in our building's lobby!! so now, everyone can see it! bwahahahaha!!!! i'd like to post the pic here, but then if scholar (IF!) sees this, buking ako, coz im one of those who pretends not to know anything about it. hahahaha!!!! if u wanna see it, let's go surfing first.



March 8, 2005
bleeh :p
Posted at 10:43 AM

im here in school again. :p so boring. it won't be after class. i have to study for calculus.. or else i fail. i failed the 2 test already. i think i shouldn't have gotten ms. ong's class... kuripot siya sa grade. holy sh*t sobrang pag high school to iyak na ko. wahahaha!! which reminds me.. i miss high school.. (uuyy nag rereminisce...) and it brings me to this list i made...

things i miss about high school
1. my trusty locker. for some reason i miss opening my padlock and getting out a ton of books.. and sometimes the guys in school would offer to help.. really cute. now that i'm in college, yeah, i ogt a locker, but it contains only about 3 books. and some paper works..

2. recess/lunch in school. stella, louise, and myself would eat in the stairway near the 4th yr classroom. haha! or kung sinisipag kami, dun kami sa "mini canteen" ng school. over here we can't eat in those bizaare places anymore. wahaha.

3. small campus. though i know it's much funner to have a big campus, i miss the small one. you know, walking around and seeing everyone you know...

4. driving to school. when i was in high school, i used to drive from my village to school. it's so fun. but now, i commute.. coz it's sooo hard to find a parking space in dlsu in the afternoon.. and i have classes in the afternoon..

5. school presentations. we used to go to atc right after class to buy materials for our visual aids. and we could use the internet as reference any time we want. now, we have to use published books more often. and those things are so damn hard to find!!!

6. my teachers. all of them are so special and close to me. we could joke around (even in the classroom!), text each other, and they would always remind us to pass our projects before the deadline. if we don't pass on the due date, they'd extend. professors are not like that at all. they don't care whether you pass or fail. they keep a certain distance to students... im in college now, dammit! hahaha

7. school activities. yes. i was always a part of school gigs. i was the one who designed our tickets last last year. now, i couldn't be a part of every affair, you know?! and just last month, we were invited to our home coming. i feel so old!! and i saw the tickets which i used to design.. haayy...

i'll put more missable things bout high school when i have the time. as i've mentioned earlier, i have to study!! haha. it's a very long list so... abangan ang susunod na kabanata!


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