haay.
Posted at 10:33 AM

i posted two entries for the past two days and they didn't show. nagloloko kase yung server ng dlsu. asar talaga. anyway, finals na namin sa friday.

i just came to school today to sign the genpsyc sheet... and tell whether i'll be taking the finals or not.. it's optional pala eh.. and since i got a 3.0 naman (note that i study in dlsu, where the grades are baliktad), i wont be taking the finals anymore.. dagdag lang sa pag-aaralan.. eh i'm studying super hard for calculus!! i hope talaga i get a passing grade... hirap kase eh... kakahiya naman kung lalabas sa transcript ko diba... which reminds me.. i was supposed to give my form today!!! asar naman!!!! hay owell... sa friday nalang siguro...

i wanna go clubbing with my sisters sa friday night!! excited na ko.. balikan lang ako sa alabang kagabi, kasi pinahatid sakin yung CRV... haay kakapagod... there were stupid bus drivers pa sa highway!! (lagi naman eh..) tas sabi ni tita ang bilis ko daw magpatakbo?!? wtf? di kaya.. naka 80 lang ako!! the fastest i went was a hundred! yun lang! hay nako. bagal kase ni tita mag drive eh...

i hope ma-post na to.. 3rd time na to.. pag hindi pa, i won't be blogging dito sa school!!

pls comment.
Posted at 10:51 AM

yes. i managed to survive a second night knowing he's gone. But it wasn't easy i tell you. 2 days down, 1,800 more to go. whoah. so what do u do when u miss someone??

ain't nothin' wrong
Posted at 10:26 AM

hay nako grabe. andami nang nag mmsg sakin sa friendster. pati mga past guys nag mmsg. aaarrrgggghhh!! i wanna close my account tuloy. wahaha. anyway, i just wanted to post the lyrics of the song "ain't nothin wrong" by houston. sobrang in-love ako sa song na yan.

You comin off innocent actin all nervous and
Girl I can tell that you been here before
By the way that you block you ears and the
way that you bite your lip
Girl you a trip
And I know that your lovin when hittin it feels like forever when we're doin it ooh ooh aah aah
Damn i like it and it dont really matter when
we're doin it girl dont front just come with it ooh
Ooh aah aah damn and girl there aint nothin wrong

When we be freakin it babe aint nothin wrong
If you be into it babe
Aint nothin wrong Scream if u gotta boo aint
nobody mad at u babe aint nothin wrong aint nothin
Wrong When we be hittin it babe aint nothin
wrong if you be diggin it babe aint nothin wrong
Scream if u gotta boo aint nobody mad at u
babe aint nothin wrong aint nothin wrong
It's ok to be into me if you wanna experiment
baby im down go where you wanna go ima lay you
Down right tonite from 0 to 69 on your mark get ready set go
Cuz there aint nothin wrong with the way you
freakin me there aint nothin wrong be the way you
Wanna be there aint nothin wrong dont think
about it i said there aint nothin there aint nothin
There aint nothin wrong cuz there aint nothin
wrong with the way we get it on there aint nothin
Wrong go ahead and tell your mom there aint
nothin wrong dont think about it i said there aint
Nothin there aint nothin aint nothin wrong

 

i'm so happy.. and yet so scared..
Posted at 10:47 AM

so you ask why i'm happy? i got to spend time with my... baby.... i love him so much.. and he says he loves me too.. but we're not together... it doesn't feel right talaga... na di kami.. "kami"... lam mo yun... pero i have to understand... kase he's going to the us.. now that's the sad part... he's leaving tonight....

*the happy part*       ok well the other night, me and marky decided to meet up the next day.. and so the date was set. then the next day, he told me he didn't have a car...! you should imagine how dreadful it felt! then there i went again, making kulit and asking him if there was any other way.. he said siya na daw bahala. and yes, i was so sure he'd come. then that night, he texted me saying his car would arrive at around 11 pm pa... i was SO hurt. kase ano ba naman yan, aalis na nga siya, tas di pa kami magsasama... all because of transpo... so shempre, i was so mad and hurt. NOT at him, but at the situation. halos maiyak iyak na ko. ang tagal niyang di nagrereply sa msgs ko. then i was asking God how all this could happen to me.. asking Him how much worse could things go.. when i haven't seen him for 3 weeks.. why is it that whenever we have the chance to meet, we always end up not seeing each other.. i just prayed so hard for a miracle to happen... sobrang desperate na ko.. as in umiiyak na ko.. kase nga ang tagal na naming di nagkikita.. tas aalis na siya.. then after a few more minutes, he replied to my texts... he told me that tita josie (his mom) was inviting me for dinner at their house... pero til 11 pm yun so i had to ask permission from mom.. pumayag si mommy!! i was so happy i cried all over again.. thanking God.. i owe Him so much talaga... i seriously don't know how to repay Him.. it was a small miracle.. well maybe for you, but it was a big one for me... grabe... so we went to his house and we had dinner with his mom. my God. i so love his mom. she is so sweet and nice. grabe. i wish she could be my mom-in-law.. haha.. i love her. and ofcourse, i love mark's sisters as well... nagkita rin kami kagabi.. from what i heard (according to tita josie), jenny's going to europe.. wow.. haha... haay.. i'll really miss spending time with his family.... grabe.. i can't explain how happy i am right now....

*the sad part*       yes, every happy story has a lonely portion... mine goes like this.... my marky (i seriously don't know if i'm allowed to call him mine) is going to the us tonight.. as in TONIGHT... 10 pm flight niya.. haay... it's so hard to  know he's leaving.. honestly, di ko kakayanin.. pero i tell myself he loves me, and ofcourse, nothing can get in the way of love.. omigosh.. umiiral nanaman ka-cornihan ko.. wahahaha.. pagpasensyahan nyo nalang ako ha... in love ako eh.. haha... yun... he told me lastnight when he dropped me off sa condo na he'll try to come see me before he leaves... oo nga pala..i gave him my gift already.. i guess it's okay to say what it is now... it's a ring... a silver one with a message engraved on it.. sobrang nagpaka leche-leche pa kong maghanap ng mag e-engrave.. kase i thought 1 week from then na siya aalis.. pero i wrote another letter to him .. and the message was written nung kami pa.. so i guess di na applicable yung mga pinagsasabi ko dun.. haha.. kakalungkot diba...haay... i miss him... what do i do when he's not here anymore... sobrang mami-miss kong may tntext pag gising sa umaga.. bago matulog.. and pag miss ko siya... and to tell him i love him.. i'll ask him lang if he has any contact number (cellphone) sa states.. pero alam ko meron... haay... tita josie said kagabi (kase i told her we're migrating to canada) "e di iiwan mo na si mark.." i was so sad... kse parang.. baligtad yata.. haha.. i don't think she knows na wala na kami.. my mom doesn't know rin.. and tita josie also asked how mommy was.. tas nagreminisce kaming konti.. wahaha... i miss the days nung sobrang kami lang ni mark ang naiisip ko.. kase bakasyon na nun eh.. haha.. wala nang mga tests.. and grabe ang saya ng summer ko nun... kase i graduated salutatorian na, may nagmamahal pa sakin.. na mahal ko rin... wow.. ang drama ko.. haha..

yun... ok what i remember is that i still have a test in chem today... my test in chemlab went pretty well yesterday.. ngayon naman chem lecture.. haay.. sige... gotta go.. peace...

*yawns*
Posted at 02:19 PM

i only had about 3 hourse sleep!! can you believe that?? i had to wake up early (eventhough i decided to cut english) coz i really needed to study for chemlab and genpsyc... our chemlab quiz turned out fine... i thinki got to answer the bonus question correctly. so if i AM correct, i get a plus ten. hurray for me. grabe. it's hard to sleep talaga when you have lots of things going on inside your mind.. it's haunting, i tell you. i feel like i just wanna take a knife and jab it right into my heart... kse dun masakit eh.. hehe.. shit ang corny... wahahaha.. haay.. anyway, thanks [stella], for this wonderful [link]. ya. sobrang nakakarelate ako. compsci student ako eh.. read nyo nalang yung article dun. parang gusto ko tuloy magjoin.

i miss him..
Posted at 02:30 PM

it's been 3 weeks since i last saw him... haayyy.. he'll visit me before he leaves for the us..i hope he does... i still have to give him my gift.. it's so precious.. i just couldn't save the picture because well it's malabo... ehehe.. but i'll still try to photograph it... haayy... i've gone through 3 nights being single now... i miss him so much....

just came from tahanan.
Posted at 12:19 AM

as i've mentioned, cool off kami ni marky. it's super hard. la kong ginawa kundi isipin what i did wrong. it's impossible to forget him even for just a while. my big bros (mon, tonio, carlo) helped me forget about my problems.. me and my twin went to tahanan kanina.. and the two of us were with mon, ton, carlo, oye, and gabby... we played tekken nalang.. and grabe ang galing ko pala dun. hehhehe player ko si asuka. naks kilala ko na. hehe pero even though i was quite preoccupied with that morbid game, i still stopped and stared... thinking of how my bf was.... i miss him so much and it's killing me.... haay.. i keep on crying... til now... because i love him so much.... but there's no way i can talk to him the way i used to.. baka maasar lang siya sakin.. kaya wag muna siguro... haaayy.... and he's leaving na on tuesday... i really feel the urge to hug him right now and tell him i'm sad and i need him... but i just can't...